Staying Strong
by Shalphine90210
Summary: This is Clare remembering her hard times at Degrassi (Bullying, Self Harm, Drug Use, a little bad words) she always will remember the ones she like where the ones that hurt her the most anyways enjoy
1. My Intro part 1

**I have never done a story like this before and to be honest this chapter isn't all that I'm trying here Clare is at her therapy also begin recorded what she is saying so just FYI lol enjoy **

(Clare POV)

Hi I'm Clare Edwards 21 years old I graduated from a school call Degrassi I am a publisher for the world biggest company but getting there wasn't all that easy I was a bully victim this is my story and this is how I survive the horrible times in High School now don't get me wrong high school can be pretty amazing sometimes fun but then it's those moments you have that you feel your all alone, people begin to change, you tend to get stress of work and more work then you'll want a boyfriend but I'm not going to get that deep into my story yet let's start freshman year shall we?

(Freshman Year)

I walk to the school in my uniform my hair was in a long pony tail I had my glasses on my stocking were on I saw how some of the girls were dressing kind of skimpy and it was pretty disturbing and gross my sister Darcy said she didn't want to be by me because I was embarrassing her which hurted my feelings but she wouldn't care as I walk I notice how some of the kids were whispering about me which made be begin to feel so uncomfortable I put my head down and walk to my locker opening my combination 'Yo freak' said this kid who was a boy he had pretty green eyes nice black hair and he was lovely 'Um...yeah' I stuttered and his friends begin to laugh at me 'Aw Eli I think the monster likes you' said his friends and Eli smirk 'Your disgusting I wouldn't dare ever date you in fact just leave this school it's for pretty girls only' he says and I stare at my feet beginning to cry 'Aw Eli what did I say about being mean' says this girl with jet black hair she was pretty also 'What Julia' he says 'Unless I'm there don't do it without me' Julia says 'Your such an ugly nerd ew seriously go away you look like a rat you ugly $**%$' she says the hallway is looking at me laughing I look down and turn around until I felt someone push me against the lockers I hit my face and everybody laughs I cried 'Aw the monster crying' they say I grab my books and ran to the bathroom I get in the stall and cry my eyes out I held onto my cross on my necklace and prayed 'Jesus why do they treat me like this why is the world so hateful' I ask him after a minute or two I got myself together and went to class I was in the gifted program so I didn't see the kids who harass me I was early to class and I quickly took my seat here it is the first day and already it's not going so well and my sister won't stick up for me so I'm basically on my own I saw couple kids come in the class one kid was a girl her name was Alli she sat next to me not acknowledging me she was probably in the group who pick on me so I pick my stuff up and moved my seat at this desk she look at me giving me a confused look than shrug her shoulders then this skater dude comes in and takes a seat next to me he gives me a smile but I ignored it

**(Back to reality)**

'So may I ask why were you ignoring your classmates' my therapy ask me and I sigh 'When those kids harass me it was literally like the whole 9th grade was there nobody was there to have my back I figured I'm going to have to go through this alone and so I did' I replied to her 'And this Eli kid what's his full name and the girl with jet black hair' she ask and I sigh I didn't like talking about them that much 'Elijah Goldsworthy and Julia Evans were couples they hated me I'm not sure why they felt threaten by me but they did but may I please go on with the story' I ask her and she nods

(Freshman Year)

The teacher was teaching about science I was taking notes when I got a note on my desk

**Hi :)**

I crumpled the paper up and continue writing until the person seated next to me continue writing me a note

**Did I do something to offend you :(**

I look over at him 'Leave me alone alright' I whisper to him 'What did I do' he ask I look over at him 'It- 'Clare and K.C I'll see you guys in detention today' said the teacher I put my head down and sigh 'Sorry' he says after that we did work an after class everybody let out except me 'Excuse me sir but please can I be let out with a warning I usually never get in trouble please' I beg the teacher and he sighs 'Fine if you see Mr. Gurthie please tell him the same' he says and I nod I get out of class hoping I don't see any of the bullies I go to my locker it was a free block for 20 minutes so I decided to go to the library I was on my way there when I saw the green eye kid I couldn't stop nor run because I would just be a chicken so I walk slow with my book in my hands he walk up to me and drop them on the floor 'Dogs belong on the floor' he says I get down picking my books up but he kicks them out my hands and over into the other hallway '$%*%$' he says I laid on the floor crying my eyes out some of the kids saw what happened but didn't do anything I pick up the remaining of my books and headed to the library I sat down and pick out the book 'The Great Gatsby' I check it out and continue reading I felt happy being by myself 'Hey' I heard a voice I look and it was that boy I got up getting my stuff 'Hey stop leaving' he says 'Why do you keep bothering me' I snap at him he took a step back 'You seem so sad on the first day of school what's the matter' he ask 'I got my book bag 'Like it matters to you' I said before walking out going into the Garden I had 5 minutes left before the bell rung for lunch I decided to eat lunch in here I can't go in the cafeteria I don't want to draw attention to myself so I didn't I pack lunch from home and read my book I was peaceful I felt calm and my day was suddenly getting a bit better until that same boy showed up again 'Wha- 'Before you go crazy on my I wanted to apologize for getting you detention and if there's anything I can do' he says 'He isn't giving us detention I already ask him and he said that he's going to let us off with a warning' I replied to him and he smiles 'Thanks your a life saver' he says I look at my book 'Why are you in here and not with the other kids' he ask me 'Because they don't like me they pick on me and bullied me and call me ugly' I told him and he look sad he walk over to me and sat down 'I'm sorry I didn't know you were getting bullied' he says and I sigh 'Whatever go away before they start picking on you' I told him 'I live in a group home they should be picking on me' he says I look at him 'Where's you mom and dad' I ask him 'Both arrested' he says I sigh 'Well if you need a friend I'm here let's start over I'm Clare Edwards' I said sticking my hand out and he smiles 'K.C Gurthie pleasure at your service' he says making me laugh 'I won't let those punks bully you' he says and he hugs me 'Thanks K.C your sweet I thought you were like them that's why I was so mean to you' I said and he smile 'All is forgiven' he says I giggled and we began to talk

**There's a part 2 after this so this chapter isn't over yet I know it's a sucky ending bare with me for a moment**


	2. Authors Note

**Authors Note**

**Okay I'm not going to be mean here but here it goes most stories I have made people keep asking for Adam just because I add Drew in the story doesn't mean Adam going to be in right away he's coming in Clare's sophomore year, and yes he'll still play as Drew's brother now that's clear up here's what's going on Clare is already somewhat famous a lot of people know her but she kept her bullying story to herself she's been taking therapy since she got out of school or 11th grade I don't know what I'll do but she wants to tell the world what she's been through and how she handle it yes I keep saying "Back to reality" it's because her therapist is asking her questions and Clare is being video tape throughout the whole thing but there will be chapters when she isn't in her therapy office and blah blah blah so if any more concerns come please ask and by the way Adam won't be transgender he stays as a boy ends as a boy thanks and God bless :)**


	3. My Intro part 2

(Clare POV)

It was finally the end of the day and school was over thank God I quickly got my stuff and waited for Darcy she came out with Peter 'Sorry loser I'm going out with Peter walk home' she says grabbing Peter arms he gave a sad look 'Can't we just drop her off home' he ask she looks back 'Nope she needs to lose weight anyways' Darcy says I felt heartbroken even my sister doesn't like me I begin walking home when I heard voices right behind me I look and it was that Eli guy with a group of his friends I got scared 'YO FREAK WAIT UP' they said I drop my things and begin to run I cut through the neighborhood and started going through the woods my house is like 4 minutes away but I need the boys to go away so I started climbing up the tree just to my luck I made it up this branch and I sat there and they were all standing there 'She's going to have to come down eventually' says this one kid 'Duh Drew' says Eli I sat there and they begin sitting down 'I can't wait till she comes down' says this one kid and they all begin laughing 'Yo freak what's your name' Eli ask I didn't answer he finds a rock and throws it at me and he missed 'Way to go Eli' Drew says and they laugh more I started praying silently to myself

_**Dear Jesus please make them go away I'm scared Lord I want to go home hear my cry Lord and help me**_

After that prayer one of their phone begin to ring 'Hello...party...tonight...invited...see you' says Eli 'Hey forget about the freak the girls are throwing a party let's go' he says they all get up while they were walking away he steps back 'Remember one thing freak I got you don't think I have forgotten' he says running away I waited because I didn't know if they were tricking me and I finally came down I went back to get my book bag thank goodness they didn't touch it I walk home and my parents were waiting there along with Darcy 'Clare what happened to you' my mother ask me hugging me 'Nothing I was just in the woods for a while reading my book' I said 'Clare it's after 2' my dad said 'Why didn't you ride with Darcy home' my mother ask 'She said she had things to do with Spinner and wanted me to talk home' I said sobbing on tears my parents gave her a look 'Sweetie go get clean up were going to take you out to eat' my mom says I smile going upstairs to take a shower after I was done I put on my favorite dress let my hair out I was finding my shoes when Darcy came out 'You ugly, stupid brat because of you I', grounded for 2 months gosh I hate you' she says when she said that I wasn't happy anymore I felt sad 'Clare come on were ready' my mom call I went downstairs with my head down 'You look beautiful Clare' my dad says I nod when we got in the car we pass the houses and I saw a bunch of teens going there I saw Ali, with some blonde girl, Eli, Drew and K.C my eyes open wide he was with the blonde girl 'Clare did you want to go to that party ' my mom ask 'No I'm good' I replied quietly and she nods we went to the Cheesecake factory my favorite place I was quiet the whole time though 'Clare sweetie is everything alright you haven't spoken to us' my mother ask and I begin crying 'I hate today Darcy said she hates me' I said wiping my eyes and my parents sigh 'Sweetie she's just being a teenager don't mind her' my mom says cheering me up and I smile 'Okay mom' I pick up my menu and my parents and I had a wonderful meal on our way home I wanted to surprise Darcy with a cheesecake I beg mom to by her but she wasn't home which meant she snuck out my parents were angry they told me to get ready for bed and I obeyed them I silently prayed to God that tomorrow would be better and went to sleep

(**Back To Reality)**

'So how are you and your sister relationship going so far' my therapist ask me and I sigh 'Somewhat better but my story is nowhere near finish' I reply back to her and she nods 'So did the boys chase you just that once or was it more than that' I hung my head down 'Just please may I get back to the story I don't want to jump if I have people watching me' I tell her and she sighs 'Alright missy but we got only an hour left of your session then you have to come back tomorrow' she says and I nod 'Fine I'll skip to December the week of winter break' I say and she nods

(Freshman Year)

I made it through the first part of the year alone K.C left me for Jenna and even though he didn't bully me like the other kids he still didn't talk to me and almost every day I have to run from the boys because their always chasing me I hate my life so much I can't eat, sleep, pray, read the Bible it's just too much Darcy has acted weird comes to find out she was rape we prayed over her and she apologize for treating me like crap and I forgave her I was currently in the hall getting my locker clean out when K.C came up 'Hey uh Clare' he says I ignore him 'Look I'm sorry about everything but can I make it up to you' he ask me and I look up 'How' I ask 'Well Degrassi is having a winter break dance and I wanted to know if you'll be my date' he ask I glared at him 'NO' I said a little more loudly then I intended to 'What.. why' he ask 'Your with Jenna leave me alone K.C' I said but he grab my arms 'We broke up' he said and I stop my track 'Really may I ask why' I ask him and he sighs 'She cheated on me' he says and I sigh 'I'm sorry about that sure I'll be your date' I tell him and he smiles 'Can't wait see you tonight' he says and I smile I began walking to my class

(K.C Pov)

I walk back and the group was there 'So did you do it' Jenna ask and I smile 'The rat is in the trap' I replied and they all laugh don't get me wrong I use to like Clare but I have a hotter version of her and her name is Jenna 'Great when she get's here I'll pretend she's prom queen then dump the glue and feathers all over her ugly body' Julia says 'Dang baby I like you so much' Eli says and they began to kiss 'Can I do something also' Drew beg 'Sure you can throw food at her fat cow eats just about anything' Jenna says making us laugh except this girl name Alli 'Why are you guys so mean to her what has she done to you' she ask annoyed Drew sigh 'Baby she's ugly and when your ugly we got to teach you a lesson' he says Alli shook her head 'Alli baby don't tell her please' Drew beg and she sighs 'Fine but I'm not getting suspended over this' she says walking away and we high-five each other 'Tonight's the night' Eli says

(Clare POV)

I wore a short dress it was a bit puffy but oh well I brush my long hair and wore my nice flats I heard the doorbell ring 'I'll get it' I shouted I ran downstairs and saw it was K.C 'Wow Clare you look lovely tonight' he says and I smile 'Thanks you look quite handsome yourself' I replied he then hands me a bouet of flowers 'Ready love' he says and I giggle nodding my head yes we walk to the school I live a block down from school 'So your ready for tonight' I ask him and he kind of had an evil smirk 'I'm all ready baby' he replies darkly but I manage to ignore it and we finally went in I dance to a couple of songs by myself K.C offered me some punch and we were having a wonderful time 'Okay Degrassi this our annual freshman dance and let's give it up to the winter prom queen and king' says Julia with Eli holding the crowns with an irritated look on his face that made me laugh a little 'Wow look what we got here Clare Edwards your prom queen' she says smiling at me I heard claps and whistles and made my way down the stage Eli gave me the crown and I stood in front of everyone...

(**Reality)**

I was already crying I couldn't go on with the story anymore 'Clare' she calls out but I lost it 'Clare' she says again 'I need a minute please' I beg her and she looks at her time '10 minutes Clare we got to hurry on to next semester in freshman year your almost done with the first one' she says and I pull myself together and continue on

(Dance)

As I stood in front of everyone Julia began speaking 'K.C Gurthie your prom king' she says and everyone claps for him even me as soon as Eli gave him the crown he look at Julia giving her some type of wink 'Wait everyone what's this' she says everyone begins whispering 'I've seem to have made a mistake' she says walking over to me 'Prom queen goes to pretty girls not fat, ugly, stupid, 4 face girls' she says and with that I felt sticky liquid come down falling on my face I also felt glitters and feathers I heard her begin to laugh I couldn't see my glasses where in the way 'Wow Clare nice outfit you look more horrible than before' she says and couple people begin to laugh 'She thought my boyfriend wanted to date her sorry fatso he's mine isn't that right K.C' I heard Jenna ask 'Yes baby' he says I began crying 'UGLY CLARE' K.C roard and they whole freshman begging cheering with him I ran out the building 'I HATE MYSELF' I yelled and I ran far out I was lost and scared 'Hey you' I heard a voice and when I look it was a kid who look similar to Eli 'LEAVE ME ALONE YOUR JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM' I yelled at him and ran he began following me 'Wait please wait' he says I stop 'Just hit me make me stop living I hate my life, I'm ugly, stupid, fat nobody wants me so just end my life' I beg that person but he didn't do that he just hug me and I desperately hug back


	4. Stay holding

**Man this chapter is long to me it is I honestly don't know what I'm doing here someone can fill free to please help me out here because it's getting a bit difficult for me and thanks **

(Clare POV)

I pull away 'Who are you' I ask him and he sighs 'My name is Reese' he says and I nod 'Clare' I reply 'Why are you crying on a wonderful night and what's that stuff on you' he ask 'Glue, glitter, and a bit of feathers' I tell him and his eyes open wide 'Someone did this to you' he ask and I nod 'What, why and- I cut him off 'I'll explain' and he nods so we sit down on a bench and I begin to explain everything that happen and he staring off in space 'Wow Clare don't listen to them your pretty, beautiful, smart, their just jealous' he says and I get up walking away 'Where are you going' he ask 'Leave me alone your probably one of them' I said 'Clare have you seen me if I was one of them why would I be here' he says and I cry 'I just want the pain to go away' I said he walk up to me 'Your strong okay how about this come and see me every day after school and tell me how your day was he says and I nod 'Okay then but don't tell anyone please Reese' I said and he shush 'I'm here' he says and with that he hug me for the rest of the night

(Reality)

'Okay Clare your session is up I'll see you in the morning tomorrow at 11 have a great rest of the day' she says and I nod 'Camera crew that's a wrap' I say and they nod I grab my things leaving but one of them stop me 'Did you really go through all those things' this guys ask me and I nod 'Every single detail sir' I reply and he hug me 'Your brave' he says and I smile 'Thanks' I reply and he step back shaking his head 'No thank you' he says I smile walking away I still live in Canada same area same people I guess I do travel a lot to New York and Las Angels but I'm just relaxing I stop by the Dot and ordered a small coke I remember coming here on my good days

_**"Reese what if there here' I ask him and he smile at me 'Who cares I'm here they won't hurt you now let's go I'm starving' he says we sat down ordering our food I ordered water and he ordered a burger with fries and a large shake 'Clare sweetie you got to eat' he says I look down 'But Reese I'm fat and ugly I can't eat' I said sadly 'Clare ignore those girls okay their just jealous your prettier than they are now you can share with me' he says giving me puppy eyes and I laugh 'Alright Reese I will' I reply and we ate happily together**_

'Clare' I heard a voice I look and it was Luke I smile standing up giving him my big famous hugs 'Wow you've gotten so big and grown and se- I mean lovely' he says I roll my eyes hitting his chest knowing what he was going to say he sat next to me 'So I heard your making a book call 'Staying Strong' he says and I nod he holds my hands 'Your strong you know that' he ask me and I nod 'Clare would you like to go on a date with me' he ask and I shake my head getting up 'I better get going Luke nice seeing you bye' I say rushing out the store 'I cannot ever date anyone' I say to myself going to the park I sat there and sigh I had a major crush on Luke since I first meet him he was cute adorable didn't pick on me him and his sister went to my church it was lovely I can still remember that day

_**(Junior Year)**_

_**I was walking to my class it my second day of school of course I was still getting pick on but not as much I walk until I bump into a hard figure I fell hoping it wouldn't be who I thought it was 'Opps sorry let me help you with that' say this guy he was tall handsome light brown hair nice green eyes and just handsome 'Um thanks are you new here' I ask him and he smiles 'Yeah I have a sister name Becky she's around here somewhere and you are' he ask 'Clare Edwards' I said slowly and quietly and he chuckles 'No need to be shy I won't bite' he says making me blush 'I got to go see you around Clare' he says brushing past my shoulders making me smile 'I'm in love' I said thinking to myself**_

I saw kids playing I smile I sat there enjoying the Canadian air 'Clare' I heard a voice and when I look it was yep you betcha the one and only Elijah James Goldsworthy 'Eli' I questioned and he sat next to me 'Wow it's been forever since we've seen each other you look great Clare stunning' he says I was quiet and he cough 'So um I see you all over TV now that's great Clare what are you doing' he ask me and I sigh 'Making a book call Staying stong Eli' I replied annoyed when I look at Eli he wasn't even himself he gotten a bit big needed to shave badly, hair getting a bit bald but still was ..okay 'What's it about' he ask and I sigh 'What I went through in high school' I replied and his eyes open wide 'Clare everybody going to know I'm Eli then there going to hate me' he says and I roll my eyes getting feud up with him I walk off 'Clare' he says I walk away from him and went home I was tired and exhausted from all this work I wasn't even hungry I took a shower and decided to continue typing my story so here's my freshman close to the end of the school year

**After the humiliation the bully group all got expelled which I was thankful about my parents still don't know what happened and Ali is the only one who didn't get in trouble in class she kept trying to talk to me but I ignored her and every day after school I still go see Reese he's cool, nice, funny, and is so friendly he tells me every day I'm beautiful and to not listen to any of those losers and so I didn't Darcy move so it's my parents and I we still go to church and that's the only peace and joy I have but anyways I was doing my work when the bell rung 'Clare can we talk' Ali ask and I ignored her walking away 'Clare it's only 1 week of school left please hear me out' she beg I turn around to her 'What do you want' I said enraged she sighs 'That day I knew about it but I didn't go along with it and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I don't want you being mad at me can we please be friends' she ask I look down 'I already have a friend so the answer to that question would be a simple no' I said walking away from her and I look back she was crying I don't know why she brought that on herself the rest of the day was alright I guess no bullies to torment me people still talk about me but hey what's good it was the end of the day I decided not to go to school for the rest of the week I mean we only had 3 days left and I didn't want to go anymore the bell rung and I hurried to the Raven to talk to Reese but when I got there he wasn't there I sat on the bench waiting for him and decided to read my book it was a couple of minutes when I felt hands on my shoulder 'What's up book worm' I heard Reese say I smile 'Where wear you' I ask him and he sighs 'I was with my parents um Clare I have some bad news' he says I got scared I felt my heart beat hard 'I'm moving tomorrow so today's my last day with you' he says I look down and started crying 'Shush Clare don't cry it'll be okay alright' he says but I shook my head 'Clare don't be scared your smart, brave, and beautiful,' he says standing in front of me I didn't look up from him, he sighs and lifts my head 'Clare I really like you and I'm sad because I don't get the chance to go out with you but may I please kiss you' he ask I was taken back surprise 'Um I've never kiss anyone' I said shyly and he chuckle 'Then you can kiss me' he says I stood up he walk close to me and I still had my head down 'This is all a joke' I said walking away 'Clare what are you- 'ELI, AND THE REST OF YOU JUST COME OUT ALREADY AND BEAT ME UP' I scream 'Clare it's not a joke I'm serious please I'm leaving tonight, literally tonight I'll never see you again' he says I glared at him 'Email me face time me do something don't try to kiss me' I said angrily and he sighs 'Fine you don't want to kiss me that's alright' he says angrily walking away I sigh 'Reese wait please' I said running up to him 'I need to go Clare your wasting time' he says I grab his hands 'I really want to kiss you besides if I do this might be the only time I even get a chance to kiss a boy' I said quietly he sighs and leans in kissing me I was shock and I kept my lips still he chuckle 'Move your lips Clare' he says I pull back 'I don't know how' I said shyly he leans in again moving his lips and I follow what he did and than I finally kiss him back I shyly wrap my arms around his neck and he put his hands around my waists we finally pull back it was awkward for a while then he spoke up 'I'm going to miss you Reese you're a good friend' I said and he look over at me 'Same here' he replies I look at the time it was close to 5 'Reese I got to get going' I said getting up and he does the same he hands me his email and gives me one more kiss 'See you Clare stay strong' he says touching my cheek I sigh, I headed home I walk through the neighborhood I wish I didn't because I end up passing Eli house I saw him sitting down with his hands covering his face I decided to make a run for it I ran passing his house 'FREAK' he says and I kept running 'he follow me 'Leave me alone Eli or I'll call the cops' I threaten he smirk 'Whatever freak I was going to tell you something but forget it your still the ugly, fat, worthless piece of trash I've ever meet' he said but this time angrily then ever I started crying and he stared at me 'Eli I don't know what I've done to you in the pass but only ask that you please leave me alone and my name is Clare not freak' I said walking away going home I went home going straight to sleep and with that I was kind of happy I stood up to him well kind of.**

I got tired and went to sleep but my phone rung I got a message and it was from Luke

**Luke: Hope you have a good night solder sorry if I came off to strong pwease forgive me :(**

**Clare: I will alway forgive you and thank you so much hope you sleep well**

**Luke: Clare about the date though the offer still stands**

**Clare: I'll think about it night Luke**

**Luke: Night :*:***

I smile Luke is sweet I prayed silently asking God if he's the one and I felt a bubbly joy in me knowing the Lord answer me I smile going to sleep with a smile on my face

**LOL sorry about posting the same chapter my mind be elsewhere lol **


	5. Remembrance

**Sorry I haven't been updating I broke the screen to my laptop so now I'm on a monitor and it sucks typing plus I have been feeling down about things lately just haven't had the passion to be typing sorry **

Next Morning I was already on my way to my therapy to continue my story I got in my car and drove there I saw the camera crew being their setting everything up I sigh and pray for strength to continue with all the things I've went through I walk inside and saw my therapist sitting down drinking coffee I politely knock on her door and she look up 'Oh hello Clare please come in how are you this morning' she ask and I smile taking a seat 'Fine and I'm doing a lot better than yesterday' I respond to her and she nods 'Um I already wrote about the end of Freshman year may I start of with my Sophomore year' I ask her and she nods 'Okay Ms. Edwards you are live in 5..4...3..2' and he made a hand signal 'So Clare please tell us how your Sophomore year was and may I ask was it worse than freshman year' she ask and I sigh 'Not really it got somewhat better I've met couple if new friends since Reese move' I replied and 'Okay well you can begin when your ready' she says and I begin

**Sadly I'm back at this place again I got a new look so people wouldn't really tend to notice me and somehow it work I went shopping a lot so no more uniforms, no more long hair and no more glasses I got laser eye surgery so I felt pretty new I walk up to the school and went to my locker nobody came up to me to except this one kid 'Hey I'm new my name is Adam Torres can you help me find Mrs. Dawes' this nice boy ask me and I smile 'Hey I have her too want to walk with me' I ask but then regretted it 'Um nevermind that's if you want to sorry for coming off- he cut me off 'Hey I thank you please don't be nervous I won't bite' he says making me smile then I realize something 'Torres as in Drew Torres' I ask him and he nods 'Yep' he replies I slam my locker walking away from him 'Wait where are you going' he ask and I glared at him 'Leave me alone' I said and he look kind of hurt 'Clare my brother isn't anywhere around please I need you' he beg and I sigh 'Sorry it's just I'm afraid' I stop my sentence and he look at me 'What' he ask and I look down 'I'm afraid your going to bully me like your brother is doing to me' I said and his eye open wide 'My brother bullies you since when' he ask 'Since freshman year him, Eli, Julia, K.C, Jenna, Alli, and so many more' I replied and he hug me 'You know I use to be bullied at my other school so I'll be here to protect you from all mean and I well punch Drew in the face for you' he said making me smile 'Thanks Adam your sweet' I said he was going to say something till his brother show up 'Hey Adam what's up and woah whose your friend here' Drew ask looking me up and down Adam got angry and push him 'Back off Drew can't you see you've done enough damage go away' Adam ordered and Drew kept looking at me 'Fine whatever lil bro anyways I'll see you around cutie' he says walking away 'He must no notice my new look' I told Adam and he shrug 'Let's get to class' he says and I nod my head we were the first one in class and were having a nice conversation 'Man Clare I went through worse because I was a nerd they threw me against doors' he says and I gasp the bell rung 'Good Morning Class please get seated and take out your notebook and pens' Mrs. Dawes says closing her door but a foot got caught 'Opps and what is your name young man' she ask 'Eli Goldsworthy' the boy respond and I froze 'Very well your late please take a seat being that young woman over there' she says pointing to me he began to walk staring at my face and sat down 'Hey do I know you from anywhere' he ask me and I ignored him 'Class the person sitting behind you will be your partner for the whole year so I'm going to give you about 15 minutes to introduce yourself to them and you may start' she says I sigh staying forward and Eli tap my shoulder 'Don't touch me' I snap at him I was facing him and he didn't even look the same he had a lot of black on and eyes were darker than ever 'Sorry I'm Eli Goldsworthy you must be new here' he said and I sigh turning around 'Did I do something wrong' he ask and I simply ignored him 'Yo Eli I wonder where that freak is' said one of the classmates and he laughs 'Oh you mean ugly Clare' he says laughing hard Adam look at me and I started crying a little 'Man I didn't see her yet but when I do she's going to get it' Eli says not realize he was talking about me I got up running out the class going into the bathroom in there was Jenna and Alli they look at me and kept talking 'So I heard Clare move' Jenna says and Alli doesn't respond 'She was such an ugly fat cow I can't believe K.C pretended to like her' she kept going on until Alli snap 'Jenna shut-up instead of calling her an ugly cow have you seen yourself you weight more than 120 pounds and I bet Clare is still a virgin unlike you who wouldn't spread there legs to anything' she said walking off and Jena gasp I walk out going back to class calming myself down 'Ms. Edwards where did you go' Mrs. Dawes ask 'I had to go to the bathroom mam I couldn't hold it' I told her and she nodded towards my seat Eli gave a me a puzzling look but I ignored it 'What happened' he ask and I finally snap 'Leave me alone Eli dang just stop it unless your going to hit me, call me names, or worse just shut-up' I said the class look at me and Eli was shock 'I only do that to- his voice drained down 'Clare' he ask and I glared at him turning around staring at my desk 'Why..you..look different um I'm so- I cut him off 'Save it alright you already done enough' I said and he was still shock so was the other guys **

(Therapy Office)

"So was this Eli a lot nicer Sophomore year' she ask me and I sigh 'I guest he kept trying to be my friend and get trying to get me to talk to him but I wouldn't' I replied and she nods 'Well did you see Julia' she ask and I look down 'Julia died during the summer time' I respond and I heard a small gasp 'So you pretty much didn't see the people who bullied you have you' she ask I look at my nails 'No not really there was still Drew, K.C and sadly Jenna but surprisingly Alli had my back' I said smiling 'So you and Alli became friends after all' she says and I nod my head yes

**I f I don't update it's cause I hung up on my dad and I'm probably going to get grounded or punish so please be blessed and goodnight **


	6. Authors Note (2)

**Hey Guys I'm sorry but I can't be updating stories for a while I haven't been all that happy lately I think I've enter that depressed stage or sadness I really want to it's just I have so much pain and sadness going on that I spend most days crying and not really typing like I usually do I hope I get better soon with a lot of prayer and getting myself together but I won't be updating for a while thanks and God bless**


	7. Going Down The Wrong Road

**I'm back which means I wasn't gone long I've felt a lot better now and forgot to warn everybody that's there's drug use and yeah I never done drugs so I don't know how they act when they take it I tried writing it well oh well **

"Will you like to tell the story on how you and Alli became friends' my therapist ask me and I nod starting my story

**(School)**

**I was at my locker ignoring Jenna mouth steady talking about how ugly I am 'Your hair cut looks like my grandmothers' she retorted I grab my books 'Your clothes look like it was from the 80's what are you Madonna' she said trying to be funny but failed 'Jenna shut -up you look like the ugly version of Meghan Fox with that fake blonde weave you got in your hair' Alli says out of nowhere causing all eyes on her and Jenna 'Alli shut-up aren't you the one who caused the world 911' Jenna smirk causing a lot of gasp Alli drop her books down going up to Jenna face 'Your going to regret talking to me like that' she says Jenna smile 'You can't hit me' she says Alli cleanses her fist 'And why not' Jenna look at K.C 'I'm pregnant and K.C is the father' she says all eyes were open even mines Alli smile 'Once again I was right Clare wouldn't dare open her legs for some guy and your baby is in your stomach not your face' and with that Alli punch Jenna in the face hard very hard she was bleeding a couple of guys had to help her to the nurse office K.C ran somewhere and Mr. Simpson came 'Alli Bhandari and Mrs. Edwards in my office now' he said 'But sir I- he cut me off 'Zip it office now' he said sternly I sigh closing my locker and followed him and Alli so there I spent all day literally for nothing but Jenna got suspended for a week and Alli two weeks I didn't see how that was fair because Jenna started it and I got detention for two days I honestly don't know why I sigh heading out the office going towards Alli house to thank her I walk up to her door steps and knock on the door her brother open it 'Darcy sister right' he ask and I nod my head he smile 'Your sister was so hot and you are cute' he said making my smile drop 'Can I speak to Alli' I ask him and he cough nodding 'I'll go get her' he said he close the door 'Cute really I am not cute' I said to myself I heard the door open and Alli came out 'Hi' she said quietly I sigh 'Alli I'm sorry for everything I'm sorry for staying mad at you and not forgiving you I was just so mad and I felt like I couldn't trust anybody' I said to her and she made a sad face 'No Clare your wrong' she said I had my head down 'I was the one who should have helped you not just standing there watching you get tortured the way you do I was horrible to you' she said crying 'I forgive you Alli' I said and she went up and hug me and I hug her back 'Clare I'm here if you ever need me the popular aren't nothing I broke up with Drew he cheated on me and there so boring I would rather hang out with you' she said and I smile 'Your not lying right' I ask her and she smile 'Never' she reply I smile and wipe my eyes her doing the same 'You want to come inside and work on homework with me since I'm suspended for two weeks' she ask and I smile widely 'Sure' I reply I call my mom and she said I can stay until she gets home I found out that Alli was really nice, had a passion for shopping and loves make up I was glad I could make a new friend and I was happy with Adam and Alli**

(Therapy Office)

'Wow that Jenna girls has a mouth on her doesn't she' my therapist ask and I nod my head 'So on your listing you had drug use' she ask and I nod 'I went through being an alcoholic and doing cocaine' I told her and she nods 'Mind telling us how this all started' she ask and I nod 'I was still a sophomore it was the next day me serving detention...

**(School)**

**Detention I was reading my book when Eli sadly came in he saw me and smirk and sat next to me I got up moving a seat and he did the same 'E- 'Hello class, I mean students you're in detention until 4:30 so do whatever you want just don't leave I'll be in the Teacher's Lounge watching Animal Planet' said this random teacher name Mrs. Epps and with that she left 'So Clare why the sudden change' Eli ask and I ignored him 'Hello' he said I read my book I grab my phone putting my headphones in my ear blocking his voice 15 minutes passed and the headphones snatch out my ears I look and it was Eli I got up and push him 'What is your problem why can't you leave me alone' I ask him and he smirk 'Your cute when your angry' he says I did something I wouldn't ever dare doing I smack him across his face hard my hands were stinging and his face had a red mark on it I gasp he gave me an evil look 'Your going to wish you've never done that' he said sitting down he grab his binder and a pack of white sand I suppose fell out 'You drop something' I said quietly and he quickly pick it up I kept staring at him 'What is that' I ask he look at me 'Crack now what you're going to tell on me' he said and I shook my head and kept staring at it I knew it was wrong to have drugs but with all this stress I'm sure it wouldn't hurt Eli saw me eyeing it 'Well won't you look at that Ms. Edwards do you want some' he ask and I shook my head 'Ew no I'm not a druggie like you' I said he got up and look me in the eyes 'Oh really why you keep staring at my bag; he ask and I roll my eyes 'Why do you even have it here' I ask him and he smirk 'Changing the subject are we well if you must know I sell these to make money' he said 'Money' I ask and he nods 'Yes I sometimes make up to 600 hundred dollars a week just by selling these things' he said my eyes open 'Your in a gang' I ask and he gave a me a look 'Yup you want to join' he ask me I felt something telling me no don't but I felt the desired to I didn't answer I ignored him turning back around 'Clare' he called out 'Leave me alone don't think I forgot about you picking on me, hitting me in the hallways, dropping my books every time you see me, calling me all names, and being just horrible to me' I said crying I heard him sigh 'I'm sorry I was cruel to you I was going through stuff back then last year and you just happened to be in the way' he said I wipe my eyes he laid the pack on my desk 'If you want it here' he said I look at him 'If not sell it you might make a quick buck with it' he said walking back to his seat I eyed it putting it in my packet 'And Clare' he called out I turn to him 'Your cute but with that thing you'll be even greater' he said smirking at me I smile a little turning around and kept asking myself should I **

** After detention I grab my stuff 'Want to go somewhere with me' Eli ask and I nod not sure why I did I follow him into his car and got in he walk over getting in 'Where are we going' I ask him and he smile turning on the radio 'We'll see' he said 'Are you going to rape me' I ask him and he kept smiling 'No Clare I'm not that crazy' he said and we drove he got on the highway and I text my mom saying I'll be home late I look at the other cars with their kids in the car making me smile Eli took an exit and park in front of a park we got out 'Follow me' he said I did and we sat down on the bench 'Clare' he calls out I turn to him 'Yea' I said he smirk 'Are you nervous' he ask and I shrug my shoulders 'I guess' I said he took out the pack and got a bottle of alcohol 'I want you to try this with me' he said I sat there 'Clare will you or will you stay a prude like that' he ask and I sat there thinking I knew this was not God's word I knew this was the enemy I knew that God will hate me but after all the bullying I went through the hurt if God really love me he would have help me**

'So Mrs. Edwards did you' My therapist ask me and I nod 'Sadly yes my heart broke I disobeyed God I let the enemy in trying to destroy me' I said with my head down 'Go on' she said

** After about my fifth sniff I got up dancing 'ELI REACH IN MY POCKET AND GET ME MY OTHER PACK I NEED MORE OF THIS ELI MORE' I said Eli was drunk he got his bottle laughing hard walking up to me 'Keep drinking this and I'll find your pack' he said I grab the bottle drinking it and get got the pack he laid it out and started parting it taking a sniff I walk over taking a sniff also and Eli lean in kissing me I kiss him back 'ELI YOUR SUCH A LIFE SAVER I LOVE YOU' I scream and he laugh hard kissing me back next thing you know everything went black**

Uh oh what's going to happened to Clare is she going to wake up and regret what she did or keep going down that same road with Eli and guys sorry for the twist in the story trying to add shake it up a little hope you enjoy and don't worry God got Clare in his hands she won't be like that for long God bless :)


	8. Keeps Feeling So Good But Hurts So Bad

**Hi I'm back again I don't really like this chapter anyways yeah and people ask why I never use periods I hate using that little thing it's annoying "." "." see annoying I won't add it and I'm sorry that I won't anyways enjoy **

**(Clare POV)**

** I woke up in a car not sure why I felt sick I still had my clothes on I look for Eli but I couldn't find him I got up and saw Eli selling the cocaine he look around and quickly ran back in the car 'Um Eli what time is it' I ask him '10 in the morning why' he ask my eyes open wide 'I'm missing school' I half shouted at him he laugh drinking some of his beer 'Calm down cupcakes your fine' he said I sigh I got my phone and had 20 missed calls and 25 text messages**

**Mom: Clare sweetie where are you**

**Mom:Clare come home**

**Mom: CLARE IT'S CLOSE TO 11 WHERE ARE YOU**

**Dad: Sweetie Where are you**

**Alli: Your parents are calling me asking where are you Clare where are you**

**Adam: Dude where are you, your parents are going crazy**

**'Eli can you take me home please' I ask him he sigh 'Fine' he said it was quite in the car 'Um Eli you kiss me yesterday' I said and he smirk 'Yeah why you miss it' he ask and I roll my eyes 'Your unbelievable' I said and he laugh 'Back to prude Clare wow you was fun last night' he said I blush 'I shouldn't have done that' I said but I felt a craving for more he got to my house and I quickly headed out but stop 'Eli' I call out he turn to me 'What' he ask 'Um the thing can I have- he chuckle giving me two packs 'Next time you got to pay up sister can't be giving you my stuff for free' he said I look down 'How much'' I ask him '20 dollars a pack' he said I glare at him 'Expensive much' I said to him and he wink at me 'I'll give you one more if you kiss me' he said I shook my head 'No way go home' I said turning around 'OFFER STILL STANDS' he yelled before driving away I sigh I got in my house and my mother runs up to me hugging me 'Baby where on earth were you' she ask and I sigh 'I hung out with someone and we got lost and slept in the car I'm so sorry mom and dad it won't ever happened ever again' I told them and they look at me 'Who was this person' my dad ask 'This guy name Antony never again daddy I was supposed to work with him on this project but other things happen' I lied 'I'm going to call the school' my mother said my eyes open wide 'NO' I yelled and she look at me weird 'I mean I'll tell my teacher mom no worries' I said and she sigh 'I'm going to go in my room and relax' I said they nod giving me a worried look I took a shower put on my tank top with black shorts and got the packet and started sniffing I would never thought of me doing this ever but here I am doing it I felt funny and felt happiness I was dancing and jumping in my room feeling free for once no harm or weirdness then I black out**

**I woke up and I got a text around 11 and I felt my phone buzz**

**Eli: Come out with me tonight **

**Clare: Why**

**Eli: Party at the ravine the goodies will be there ;)**

**Clare: Be there in 10**

** I got dress not really caring what I had on and snuck out the house**

**I waited outside for Eli and he drove up 'Hey lady you ready' he ask and I nod getting in he drove off 'Why do I keep blacking out every time I sniff these things' I ask him and he shrug 'Stop taking so much and just take a bit' he reply and I nod my head we finally arrive to the Ravine I got out with Eli and he grab my hands there was a lot of people dancing, drinking, smoking, and doing drugs I was shock but ignored it we sat down and Bianca came she was drunk 'Wow Clare nice to see you want to drink with me or are you a prude like everybody says' she ask handing me a drink I look at Eli and he was getting weed from someone so I nod my head and began drinking swallowing it as fast as I can it burn my throat 'Good Clare now let's dance' she said grabbing my hands we started dancing I didn't even know I could dance I felt hands on my waits and turn to see Eli smirking at me I was kind of drunk but not fully there yet 'Eli what the sudden surprise' I said and he smile leaning in kissing me I kiss him back 'So does this mean were together' I ask him and he kissed me harder 'Does that answer your question' he ask and I smile we walk back and I sniff a bit and felt real funny afterwards I felt people on me not sure who was I saw Bianca and Drew walking away I saw Eli smoking marijuana and I was sitting there sniffing after couple of seconds everybody was running 'COPS ARE HERE' said this one boy I got up trying to look for Eli but I couldn't find him 'ELI' I cried out I tried running but I was to high and drunk I feel down and black out once again**

(Office)

'So you and Eli began dating' my therapist name Michelle ask me and I nod 'Yep I would have never thought in my life dating Eli who led me straight to drugs' I said and she nod 'Well you only got couple more minutes left want to hurry and rap this up' she ask and I nod

**(Jail)**

** I woke up in a jail cell my eyes were terrified I was in prison oh no I was scared I walk up 'Hello' I called out 'What' this police officer said to me 'Um may I please make a phone call' I ask they let me out and I called Eli 'Hello' he ask all sleepish 'Eli' I said I heard movement 'Clare why are you calling me from an unknown number at 3 in the morning' he ask I sigh 'Eli I got caught I'm lock up can you please get me' I begged him and I heard him sigh 'Alright just give me couple of minutes' he said I hung up and went back to my cell I waited for what seem forever and finally he show up 'Mrs. Edwards your free to go' said the officer I got up and followed Eli out 'How did you get me out of there' I ask him and he show me a fake I.D 'Cops are stupid anyways get in the car I'm taking you to my place' he said I stop 'But Eli I should be getting home my parents will freak' I told him and he shrug 'Just for a little bit then I'll take you home' he said I nod my head and got in the car and he did also it was a quiet ride 'Why did you leave me like that' I ask him angrily 'I couldn't find you I didn't even know the cops were there I was in the woods smoking with this cute girl and I end up going home' he said I huff at him 'I thought you like me Eli' I said and he laugh 'What makes you think that' he ask 'Everytime your drunk you always kiss me' I said and he chuckle 'Aw so someone does miss my kiss well if you admit that you want me then I'm all yours' he said turning the corner to his house I didn't answer once he pulled up I got out walking to the door and he did also the house was filthy it was dirty and too much junk everywhere 'Jeez Eli every thought of cleaning once in a while' I ask him and he smirk he look in his fridge and got out two beers offering me one but I denied 'I'm tired of drinking' I said but for some reason my body kept craving more and more of the cocaine I look around to see if there was a pack anywhere 'Oh you want this' Eli ask holding up a pack and I nod my head he sat down I walk over and he sat me down on his lap opening the pack and separating it for me and him 'Eli' I ask 'Hm' he said 'Am I a bad person' I said and he smile 'No Clare your not' he said I look down 'I want you Eli' I said and he chuckle looking at me and kiss me 'Good now be a good girl and sniff' he said and with that I obey and did what he said**

Little did Clare she just made the biggest mistake in her life

**So** **what's going to happen to Clare hope she makes it through Hope you all enjoy God Bless **


	9. Learning The True Matter Of Forgiveness

(Office)

'So Clare you and Eli enter the relationship' she ask and I nod 'Mind telling us how it was' she said I felt my eyes watered 'Clare' she called out 'At first it was fun I was finally popular I even sell crack made a bit of money I was always out buying clothes, getting Eli stuff, and I also stop hanging out with Alli and Adam' I said she nod writing the notes down 'Then what' she ask 'My craving just got worse and worse I kept getting nose bleed, my nose was always running and my nose was red' I said she looks at me 'What about Eli' she ask I sigh 'There was days Eli got abusive towards me and we'll fight' I told her 'And why was that' she ask 'Eli wanted to have sex with my but my virginity was something I needed to keep I felt it was the only thing that I had left to remember me by and he'll get angry' I said she nod 'Okay Clare your time is up I'll see you tomorrow again regular time' she said I got up the camera guys all clap for me I felt tears coming out as they each hug me telling me I was a strong hero I thank them and walk out getting into my car I prayed to God

_**Heavenly Father, Lord thank you for giving me the strength to go out and tell my story Lord I pray that I continue to get stronger Lord each day as I walk in and out of the office Lord thank you and Amen**_

I drove around in the neighborhood I decided to stop by Luke house I pull up and walk slowly up to his door I rang the doorbell and his sister open it 'Clare Edwards is that you' she ask excitedly I smile nodding my head she ran up and hug me 'I've seen you all over the place your making a book now I heard' she ask inviting me into her house I nod 'Yeah also I'm getting recorded so the world can see what I've been through' I told her and she smile sitting me down 'That's amazing I cried when I heard about your story' she said I nod 'Yeah I think we all did but I'm just blessed God got me through it without him I probably wouldn't even be here' I said sighing she nod and hugs me 'Yeah Clare we all been through sticks and stones' she said the door open and I saw Luke with two bags 'Did I miss something here' he ask and I laugh a bit making him smile 'No silly Clare was telling me about her story' Becky said making Luke nod Reverend Baker walk in 'Oh hello Mrs. Edwards what a pleasant surprise to see you' he said I walk up and hug him 'Nice to see you again sir' I said and he smile 'You know Luke can't stop talking about you' he said making Luke blush ten shades of red 'Dad' he said I look down trying not to laugh 'It's true you should hear the things he say right Becky' he ask her and she look smiling 'Clare is so cute, Clare and I should get married I mean were perfect for each other' Becky said mocking Luke who look so embarrassed 'Guys please enough' he said and they stop 'Clare my wife is cooking dinner tonight please stay with us it'll be a blessing if you do' Mr. Baker said I saw Luke's face and he gave me a begging face so did Becky so I nod my head 'Sure I'll be honored to' I reply and they all said yes 'Great plus we'll have a bible study after that so I'm glad your staying' he said I smile 'What's with all the co- 'CLARE' said Mrs. Baker she drop her stuff and ran up to me hugging me I smile almost crying 'Oh sweetie we miss you so much how are you' she ask I smile 'I've been good I'm just thankful to God for giving me the strength to tell my story to millions of people who went through the same things as me' I told her and she nods understanding me 'Yes sweetie aren't we glad we have a faithful God who loves us and cares for us' she said making some of us cry I wipe my tears Luke came up and hug me and I gladly hug him back 'Hey come on where suppose to be rejoicing not weeping whose going to help me set up this campfire' Mr. Baker said we all laugh 'Luke will daddy' Becky said making Luke glare at her and she sticks her tongue at him, making him look back at me I blush 'I'll be back you can help my mom in the kitchen' he said I nod and he touches my cheek following his dad once they left the girls scream 'OH MY GOODNESS CLARE LUKE IS SO IN LOVE WITH YOU' Becky scream causing her mother to look at her "Rebecca Anne baker sit down young woman' she said causing Becky to quickly do so 'I'm sorry Clare she's just a bit excited she really wants you two to be sister' she said causing me to blush 'I'm just not that sure I mean I'm still getting through what happened to me 5 years ago' I said Mrs. Baker walk up to me laying her hands on my forehead then suddenly I felt like the hurt and the pain varnish but there was still something left 'Clare the only reason why you still feel like that is because you haven't forgiven those who hurt you' she said my eyes open wide I stood up 'Me forgiving those people what they did to me because of them I went through drug use, almost getting rape, getting tortured, bullied and making my life hell' I scream causing Becky to jump she went up and hug me 'Clare, Matthew 6:14' she said to me she went to her bible and open the verse

_**Matthew 6:14**_

_**For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you**_

I sigh wiping my eyes 'Oh sweetie I guarantee you that you'll fill so much peace and fulfill again all Jesus is asking you is that you forgive these people remember for they know not what they do Clare' she said I nod my head understanding them she pat my back 'Okay I need help making this Chicken and cream sauce Becky can you get the sauce and Clare get the chicken' she ask and I did what she said we spent all that afternoon making the food I look out the window watching Luke sit by the fire by himself I felt a hand on my shoulder causing me to jump, I look back and it was Becky she giggled 'Sorry I was coming to tell you dinner is ready can you go get Luke and tell him to come inside also we forgot to mention every Thursday night we have people come and join us to get together' she said I saw people coming inside with kids and I nod I step out into the backyard and walk towards Luke 'Um Luke' I called out a bit shy he look towards me and stood up 'Yea' he replied 'Dinner is ready some of the guest are here' I said to him and he began walking with me back inside 'I'm glad you could stay Clare even though what my parents said and Becky said was true I really do miss you' he said I smile 'Thanks Luke I miss you too' I replied he open the door for me and I walk inside everybody was gathered at the table I stood by Becky and Luke 'May we all join hands and bow our heads and close our eyes' Mr. Baker said I grab Luke's and Becky hand and bow my head

_**'Father God, Lord thank you for this evening were having Lord we come together once again as your children and ask that you fill our bodies Lord that each in every one of us come in as thirsty and leave out as filled Lord we come to you to say thank you for this meal that was prepared for us today Lord as every one of us has our eyes closed and our heads down that you come to us and make us stronger in your name Jesus thank you and together we all say Amen'**_

'Amen' I said 'People you may take your seats' Mr. Baker said Luke pull out my chair for me and I gladly took it thanking him Becky cough at him and he roll his eyes doing the same for her she smile widely at him 'Thank you' she said he sat down 'Yeah, yeah' he replied I laugh we pass out our food and I began eating the food was really good 'Becky do you want to teach the kids outside' her father ask her and she nods 'Of course I already have the smores ready' she said making the kids eyes go wide Luke and I laugh then stop because of the empressement we all were having a good time even I was but I kept thinking about what Mrs. Baker told me forgiving those who did wrong to me sound crazy of course but it's God word and if I don't forgive them, then I won't be forgiven just as simple as that after dinner Mr. Baker told Luke and I to be in the living room and Becky was with the kids in the backyard making smores and teaching them 'Good evening everyone I'll like to start by saying can we please have our starting prayer' Mr. Baker said he prayed and we began to enjoy our message that evening and we talk about Forgiveness once again so I already knew the Lord was telling me to forgive those but I just kept feeling like I shouldn't after what they done to me 'My wife and I would like to tel you a story about forgiveness' Mr. Baker said we clap as Mrs. Baker walk up she sigh and she look at me and began the story

_**I was 21 when my husband and I got married when we were only 19 years old and I was pregnant with Luke when my husband and I were doing great we lived in a small apartment he was always working late I got moody once a while I felt needy also not sure why but I kept having the thought that my husband was cheating on me and I felt anger by him I felt hated towards him because I've always seen him with this young lady and I got really jealous so I call one of my friends and we ended up having sex that night the next day he left and instantly I felt guilty I regretted what I've done I cheated on my husband and I knew I could have ended our marriage so I prayed to God to forgive what I have done and that my husband wouldn't leave me because I loved him so much and I felt the Lord spoke to me and said 'Angelina your forgiven but you must tell your husband' he said I cried harder because I didn't want him to leave me so couple of days turn into months and months turn into a full year I didn't tell him I felt like I needed to do so and I was finally ready so I sat him down across from me I took a sigh and prayed that God gave me the strength to do so and he did and I came out and said it to him 'Derrick um a year ago when you was working I got jealous because you was always hanging out with your assistant and never spending time with me I got so angry towards you and felt hatred that I cheated on you with Antony' I said with my head low and with that he didn't say anything he got up and I heard a big slam I cried so hard I felt that my marriage was ruined all because of me**_

Mrs. Baker told us crying her husband patted her back I wipe my eyes and Luke was in a big shock so were many other people Mr. Baker began to tell us what happened after his wife told him

_**I felt anger and betrayed I thought she loved me but no she didn't I didn't even know how I was going to forgive her all I wanted to do was get the divorce papers honestly I love this woman so much and she turn back around and did this to me she apologize over and over but I needed time to myself so I spent a couple of days at a hotel and I prayed over and over and I felt the Lord tell me 'Son forgive her as I forgive you love covers multitude of sins child forgive' he said to me and with that I went home Luke was sleeping and she was washing dishes I sat her down and talk to her 'Angelina I love you so much I felt broken when you cheated on me but I forgive you and I want to be with you' I said to her she was crying hard I hug her and kissed her **_

Mr. Baker told us everyone had tears in their eyes 'It took me a while to finally get healed and to move and couple years later we had Becky and the Lord was with us every sine' he said him and Mrs. Baker hug and we all clap for them Luke went up to his mother and hug her saying he forgiven her for hurting him and the family after that we ended that with prayer and people began to leave I help out with the dishes I saw Luke by himself again outside 'Why don't you go out there with him stop being so shy' Mrs. Baker said I smile and nod going outside I sat next to him and things were quiet I grab the metal and marshmallows and offered him one and he did 'Nice campfire huh' he ask I nod 'Yep can you hand me the graham cracker' I ask him and he did I got the Hershey and bite into him 'Mhmmm this is so good' I said and he laugh he got the marshmallows and put it on my nose I glared at him 'Your going to get it Baker' I said he ran and I chased him but I didn't see where I was going and I fell down he ran back to me 'Are you okay' he ask and I nod smiling which he did also he stared into my eyes and was leaning in until

**Ohhhh what's going to happen will Luke and Clare finally kiss or well someone interrupts them oh well wait and see**


	10. My Breakthrough

**Ugh I hate this I felt like I put nothing into it and that I rushed everything I'm sorry to everyone for not posting yesterday I been having bad cramps ladies know what I mean and if you don't have cramps your sooooo lucky lol anyways hope you all enjoy**

"KISS" we heard a girl scream Luke and I quickly back up seeing his whole family right there Mrs. Baker slap Becky for interrupting us 'It's actually fine I need to get going anyways' I said quickly getting up Luke had a sad face on but got up as well 'I'll walk to you car' he said I smile at him I waved goodbye to the family and gave Becky a quick hug I press the car opener button whatever it's called and Luke opens the door for me I smile at him getting and he closed it 'So will there be another time I'll see you' he ask nervously and I smile 'Sure' I replied and he smile 'Would you like to go out with me this Saturday night' he ask I was nervous I couldn't let one guy ruined my life and my relationships 'Sure I'll go with you what time' I ask him '8 and I'll come pick you up, you still live in the same house' he ask and I nod 'Yeah' I answered back and he nod it was an awkward silence 'Um Clare' he said I look at him and he lean in giving my cheek a small peck 'Have a blessed night and remember what my mom said' he said making me remember everything her and Becky said to me I gave him a confused look 'How di- 'The Lord wants you to remember don't question me' he said smiling walking away I sigh starting my car and pulling off to home I kept thinking if I'm going to forgive these people I needed to pray for strength to do so,when I reach the house I took a shower read some pages to my bible and ask God to give me the strength to forgive and to help me set up a plan to forgive these people

I woke up the next morning and did the same routine I did yesterday I got dress brush my teeth and headed to the therapy office since today is Friday I would have to meet up with Michelle again on Monday I reach the place and saw the camera guys their once again already set up and she was sitting down sipping coffee 'Ms. Edwards please have a seat' she said and I did she offered me some coffee but I denied 'Okay let's get started shall we' she says and I nod 'So mind telling us how you and Eli finally got to that boiling point' she says I took a sigh and silently prayed to myself God gives me the strength

** I was at Eli's house waiting for him I was officially out of cocaine and I desperately needed more I was willing to do anything for it but not give up my virginity he came in with a blonde girl 'Um excuse me' I ask he looks over at me and shrugs 'What do you want' he says I walk over to him 'Eli I need more' I said the blonde girls looks at me giving me a mean look for I don't know what reason Eli pushes me back 'No get out' he says I got up and slap him 'ELI' I yelled and he slap me 'CLARE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE' he yelled he grab me taking me out the house 'I HATE YOU ELI, I HATE YOU' I yelled he threw me out and lock the door I haven't been home lately and I knew my parents were probably worried I called Alli but she didn't pick up same with Adam I tried calling them over and over but it went straight to voicemail my life was ruined I walk along the sidewalk with my head down I was so upset I can't believe Eli would do this to me I thought he love me but that's what they all say I reach my house hoping my parents were sleep and they were thank goodness I took a shower try looking around my room for more of the drugs but I didn't have any more I needed to find some way to cope with the pain so I began cutting myself at first it hurted but I felt so much better than I washed it off and went to sleep by time I woke up the next morning it was 12 I missed school and I could care less I went downstairs to fix me some food and watch TV all afternoon I heard the doorbell ring I went to go open it and it was Eli I slam the door on him but he caught the door with his foot 'Clare baby why the mean attitude' he ask I sat down ignoring him watching TV 'Oh I know why your mad you need some more of this don't you' he ask pulling out the stuff but my body didn't jump to it 'Leave me alone' I said he gave me a confused look and sat next to me trying to get my attention 'Clare what's up with you' he ask I continue to ignore him then he grab my wrist hard 'OW ELI' I cried out I push him off and he look at me confused 'Clare I didn't even grab you that hard' he said I look down and my wrist was bleeding 'Clare' he called out I put my head down in shame 'Wow not only are you crazy but your insane' he said I glared at him 'This is all your fault' I said and he chuckled 'Really pumpkin I'm not the one who agreed to doing this crap you did I offered and you accept' he said I glared at him 'Eli just get out don't call or text me don't visit me just get out of my life' I told him and he stared at me 'Your breaking up with me' he said I kept looking at my wrist 'You made my life hell Eli you abused me physically and mentally yes I'm dumping you' I said and he got up he kissed my forehead 'I hope you get better' he said just before leaving wich really surprise me**

'So you stop doing cocaine like that' Michelle ask me and I nod 'Yeah I just didn't have the cravings for it anymore I knew God had healed my body for that and the thing was I didn't deserve any of it' I said wiping my tears 'And Eli' she ask 'I haven't seen Eli around he drop out of school' I told her and she nod 'So how was the rest of the sophomore year' she ask I sigh 'Ruff I surprisingly passed as many days as I missed my parents did take me to a rehab because of the cutting' I said 'Mind telling us how that went' she ask and I nod

**3 Months and 6 days**

**I've been here I have gotten a lot better, better than before I was feeling like my old self again I look pretty felt better but I still felt like something was missing the nurse came in 'Someone drop this off for you' she said handing me a Bible and walk away I was shock I haven't held a Bible in almost 2 years I cried so hard because that one thing I was missing was God in my life and I needed him I read passages on healing, and I needed Christ back into my life so that next Sunday I went to the church program and when I sung and did praise and worship I felt everything restoring back into my life that afternoon I rededicated me life to Christ and felt him living inside of me I repented for all my sins and letting the enemy try to control me he was cast under my foot and I had freedom once again**

I said to her and she was crying wich is a first because Michelle never cries 'Wow God is so wonderful and you spent your summer in the rehab' she ask and I nod 'So how was junior year' she ask and I smiled 'Ah I guess it was better' she said and I laugh 'Much' I said

**Alli, Adam and I begin to get back in touch I was doing great in all my classes Drew, Jenna, and K.C was there but they didn't even seem to care for me as much I guess it's because Jenna was going through so much taking care of a baby her and K.C didn't want but I begin to get back into the word with God I was attending church and spreading the word my life couldn't get better and then there was these two people I've met their names were Becky and Luke they were such lovely people they went to the same church as me I always seem to have a crush on Luke but he was a hockey player and when the hockey players act like they could run the school so I didn't hang out with them as much I was walking to class because I was late and I bump into a hard figure I fell with my books everywhere'Opps sorry let me help you with that' Luke says and I was super nervous because I've bump into him before 'Your Clare right' he ask and I nod my head 'I've seen you at church aren't you doing praise and worship' he ask and I nod again he chuckles 'I love hearing you sing it's like the gates of heaven are being open' he said I look down blushing mad crazy and he seem to notice my shyness 'Opps sorry' he said and he was being such a nice gentlemen 'Hey are you single' he ask I nod 'Would you want to go see a movie with me this weekend' he ask I wanted to so bad but I couldn't date boys after the abuse I went through so I declined 'I'm sorry Luke I went through a messy break up and I still need healing from it' I said and he look upset but he understood 'I understand you will be in my prayers' he says touching my cheek before walking away I sigh 'He's so cute' I said to myself 'Who is' Alli ask right behind me making me jump 'Jeez Alli scare me why don't you' I told her causing her to laugh 'Sorry' she said I nod 'So whose cute' she ask and I sigh 'Luke Baker' I said all dreamy 'Bible boy yeah you two do make a cute couple' Alli says making me roll my eyes 'I've got to get to class I'm already late' I said running to my class**

'Well Clare I'm glad everything work out alright and how was Sophomore year' she ask I smile 'I graduated I was offered to so many colleges but I took Columbia University in the City of New York because they had a writing program and I wanted to major in my writing career so I left Toronto and when people heard about my story they wanted me to tell everyone I prayed to God about it and he said for me to do so because then it'll help change lives of millions of people who went through the same things as me or whose going through it right now' I said and she smile 'Well Clare it seems like were done here' with your story she said I smile she got up going to the bathroom I called Kevin one of the camera guys 'Um can I ask for a favor' I ask him and he smile 'Anything for a hero' he said making me laugh 'I need your help with'...

**It's 12:19 am here I'm bored and lazy I'm terribly sorry for the sloppiness and the fact that I rush everything into this chapter I'm having cramps again sorry if that (TMI) I know hopefully next chapter won't be crappy as this God Bless everyone **


	11. Dating Adventure

(Clare POV)

I was getting ready for me date with Luke I was a bit nervous because I haven't been out in a while and with a real guy before the doorbell rung and I ran downstairs to open it and Luke was standing there with a bunch of flowers and his eyes were open wide 'Wow' was all he could say I look down blushing 'Thanks' I said he smile giving me the flowers I took it and he lean down to kiss my cheek 'Ready to go or do you want to put those in water' he ask I look down at them and decided 'I'll go quickly put them in some flowers' I said I went back inside putting them in the vase grabbing my keys and heading out with Luke he open the car door for me I thanked him and he got in driving 'So where are we going' I ask him and he smile turning on the radio I smile at him and enjoy the ride it was peaceful and nice I felt really comfortable with Luke more than any other guy in the world I felt love by him and I couldn't help but smile at the thought 'What are you so smiley about' he ask and I shook my head we drove up to Cheesecake Factory I smile 'Someone seems happy' he says I smile at him 'I love this place' I said to him and with that he gets out and opens my door we walk in hand to hand 'Dinner residence' he said and the waiter looks down 'Name' he ask and Luke smiles 'Baker' he said and the waiter smiles and leads us to our table Luke lets me sit first then he sits across from me he kept staring at me and I look down 'Is there something on my face' I ask him and he chuckles 'Your just beautiful you know that right' he ask me and I blush madly 'Thank you' I said and he smiles and with that we begin our mean

I was so full 'Want to share a cheesecake with me' he ask 'Sure' I reply Luke orders a Reese's Cheesecake **(Yummy BTW) **he gets his forks and offers it to me I smile and take a bite 'Mhmmm so good' I said and he smiles 'I'm glad' he said we continue eating and then we leave 'One more stop and then we can go home' he said 'It's fine' I say I enjoy being with Luke to be honest I was in love with Luke for a long time I'm sure he felt the same but were taking it slow he stops in front of a park and we get out walking towards the lake 'It's beautiful' I say I was starting to get cold and began freezing Luke gave me his jacket I denied at first but he insists 'Luke why do you like me' I blurted out my eyes open and he smiles 'That moment I saw you literally love at first sight I haven't been with many girls to be honest only had one girlfriend and her name was Ginger never again' he said shaking his head and I laugh 'I love you Clare so much more than words can ever say, your smart, funny, and I feel something when I see you every time that I don't see in other women' he said making me cry 'Same here' I said and we both knew Jesus was telling us to be with each other I don't blame Jesus for this moment my body inside was like

_THANK YOU SO MUCH LORD FOR THIS BOY AND CREATING HIM, GLORY TO GOD, WHOOOOO_

But I still kept my calm and smile at the thought Luke stood in front of me and started leaning in and I did as well but his phone rung I sigh backing up looking out to the ocean 'Yes mom...no mom...we didn't...stop interrupting...bye' he said making me laugh and he did a nervous grin 'Ready to go' he ask kind of disappointed and I nod I followed him but stop 'Luke' I said and he walks back to me 'Yes' he says I lean in and kiss him and he kisses me back and this kiss was perfect not sloppy like Eli's kisses it was sweet and gentle and he treated me like a princess I back away and he lean his head against mines 'I love you so much' he said I smile brushing my fingers through his hair 'Love you too' I say and with that he grab my hands and we went back to the car driving home he pulled up to my house, he got out opening the door for me and walk me to my door 'Luke I had such an amazing time' I said and he smile 'I'm glad' he said I kissed him once more and he walk back to his car but I forgot to tell him something 'LUKE' I yelled and he stops his car 'What's wrong is everything okay' he ask I smile 'Come to church early tomorrow' I say and he gives me a confused look 'How early' he ask I look down 'About 8' I say and he smiles 'What you got up your sleeves Edwards' he teased causing me to giggled 'I just need a few help with things and people' I added and he smiles knowing what I mean he touches my cheeks 'Goodnight then your going to need that strength in the morning' he says and I nod I kiss his cheeks and walk back to my door 'Clare' he calls out once again I turn to look at him 'Yes' I reply 'How did- he ask but I cut him off 'The Lord has it all covered don't questioned me' I said and he smiles 'Okay Ms. Diva see you tomorrow' he says driving off making me smile I went home and took a bath I prayed while I was taking a bath I know silly right but I got out drying myself put lotion on and went off to bed excited about tomorrow but also a little nervous but I knew that if God is with me then I have nothing to worry about


	12. Staying Strong

**I know you guys are so mad at me I took forever well I had camp to go to and it was fun and at camp we all know no phones or laptops so I'm back praise God and coming up with more and more stories sorry that this chapter sucks I know I was trying to rush things and whatever but I got one more chapter than no more Staying Strong so enjoy and God bless**

I woke up that next morning ready I sigh I took a fresh shower I had my hair in curls I put on my nice fancy outfit and did my make up basically I was just getting ready I grab my Bible and all my church stuff and headed out to my car also known as a jeep I got in before I drove off I annotied myself and I did a prayer

_**Okay Lord, today's the day that I forgive these people Lord I am ready Lord I pray for the strength and the courage Lord and that I am strong and I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me day by day I am ready**_

I sigh and I drove to the church I listen to Hillsongs to get my spirit lifted and I felt strong I reach the church and I was nervous but nobody was here I got out and the camera guys were here I put my stuff down to look for Kevin and I found him 'Kevin thank you so much for doing this' I say to him trying not to cry and he smile 'No biggie anything for a hero' he says walking away I smile at that new nickname he loves calling me and that's what I felt like a hero I felt arms wrap around my waist 'Someone is looking lovely this Sunday morning' I heard a voice say knowing who that voice was and it was Luke I smile and turn around giving him a peck 'Thank you for being here' I tell him and he smiles 'Anything for my love' he says making me blush hard I saw Becky and the rest of the family and I hug them all 'Okay Clare you need to get set up' Kevin says I nod going to the back I saw Mitchell walking in which surprise me 'Mitchell' I ask and she look over 'Why a- she cut me off 'I need to I just had to see for myself' she said and walk away I nod I saw people coming in I was nervous but the Lord kept telling me to not be afraid 'Clare you ready' Kevin says and I nod I walk up on stage I was face to face with every one of my past was here Eli, Jenna, K.C, Drew, Bianca, Fitz, Owen,Darcy, even Reese and boy did he look good so were my parents but moving on I took a breath and begin 'Good Morning everyone' I say and they say it back I show them the picture of my freshman year 'This girl name Clare Edwards that was me everyone' I say and couple of them gasp 'Yep I've change a lot but this is the girl everyone bullied, they tormented this girl to the point she wanted to kill herself' I say it was quite and the room 'I honestly don't know what I did to make you guys hate me so much even my sister didn't want no part of me and that hurt me a lot' I say crying 'The only people I had was my parents and God at the time even then I felt Jesus didn't want me' I say walking around I sat down 'I still remember that dance the Winter one' I say with my head down 'I thought I was finally in it I thought I was popular that I actually had friends but that night came crashing down and honestly I'm sorry I just wish I knew what I did to make you guys hate me so much' I say breaking down I felt arms on me I look up and it's Luke he offered me a tissue and help me stood up the picture change to Sophomore year 'This year didn't get any better started hanging out with the wrong person led me into drugs, I ended up cutting myself losing the two friends I ever had once' I say I look out and almost everyone was crying 'I ended up confessing everything to my parents and had to stay in rehab for 5 months' I say grabbing my Bible 'When I was in there I found peace and joy that I once had' I show them the Bible 'I had Jesus restored in my life' I say smiling 'My life got better I came back got my school together went to college became a famous Author still selling books all because of Jesus Christ and mostly meet the most important man in my life' I said looking over at Luke whose was smiling at me I sigh 'I was still missing one more thing though' I said I look up 'I was still missing that joy and peace I had it but more like 98% and I needed 100%' I sigh I stood in front of everyone 'I need to forgive you all' I say and they sigh 'I forgive each one of you for what had happened in the pass and hope that you can receive Jesus today' I say they look around I waited for someone to stand up and before you knew it Drew stood up and walk up to me 'Clare I'm sorry for the crap I put you through and I want to receive Jesus in my heart' he says I nod my head and look at the rest of the crowd 'Anybody else' I say Eli gets up and stands next to Drew following him was Jenna and then K.C next thing you know everybody was the front I smile 'I want you all to repeat this after me you ready' I ask them and they nod I begin praying the salvation prayer

_**"Lord Jesus, I believe You died for me and that you are alive and listening to me now. I repent of my sins and ask Your forgiveness. From this moment on, I decide to live for You and no longer for myself, to do Your will and not mine. Make me the kind of person You want me to be. Show me the way to the Father. Now fill me with the Holy Spirit, Who will teach me how to live for You and how to tell the world You are my Savior and Lord. I love You, Father, Son and Holy Spirit."**_

I said it and they all repeated after me 'You are all saved which means we all have eternal life God doesn't hate any of us and is pleased that were in his family I tell them each one of them came up and hug me 'Clare you look beautiful' Reese says to me 'It's been a while since I've seen you' I say to him and he smiles 'Yeah been doing good I'm in a relationship' he says I smile at him and hug him then Luke comes behind me and hugs me 'I'm proud of you' he says and I smile wiping my tears 'Me too but I couldn't have done it without Jesus' I said and he smiles to me and kisses me and I kiss him back 'I love you Clare' he says I cried a bit harder 'I love you too' I say and we hug 'Awwww' we heard the crowd say and we laugh and for that rest of the day we all worship him and got together and I was so happy and I felt filled with his presence 100% this time and that was all I needed


	13. Happily Ever After

**Finally I have completed this lol I'm so happy it's the shortest chapter ever lol I hope you guys enjoy and thanks for all the Reviews, and followers **

'Well after a while Luke proposed to me and of course I said yes we got married Becky wouldn't stop screaming which was kind of funny and were now sisters she doesn't like the word 'In Laws' so I don't use that word Luke and I had our first child Daniel he's 3 now and I'm pregnant now with a girl Becky is super excited so is Angelina and Jacob which is Luke's dad name, my book was one of the top book ever soled and millions of Americans watch me on T.V which is even cooler and learning how to forgive each other Luke and I got our own house my parents were pretty excited to be grandparents and I'm just so happy and blessed because God did this all for me and even with my friends Reese got married to his girlfriend and have a daughter name Emily, Drew attends church a lot more and is now single, Alli is a single parent but she is taking good care of her son Bryce and is worshiping God along the way, and as for K.C and Jenna they got back together and there married now which is amazing and love being in the presence of God' I said to Mitchell she was smiling 'That's good Clare but what about Eli' she says and I smile 'He went to rehab he's no longer addicted he was heal and is dating a new girl name Kelly' I said and she smiles that's amazing 'Wow Clare you have come along way and I'm proud of you because of Jesus and you, you guys are making a big difference around the world' she said I smile we got up and she hug me 'I hope to be reading more stories from you' she ask me and I laugh 'Of course' I replied back she rubs my belly 'Lucky girl to have such an amazing mother God bless you Clare' she says wiping her eyes I smile 'You too and I hope to hear from you' I ask her and she smiles 'Most definitely' she says Kevin ended the show and I hug all the camera man and left to find Luke waiting for me with Daniel 'Mommy' he says running up to me I smile he walks over and hugs me 'How did it go' he ask I look down and blush 'Amazing' I replied and he smiles picking up Daniel 'So I was thinking Cheesecake Factory' he ask and I laugh 'Of course let's go' I said and we made our way to the Cheesecake Factory

THE END:)

**LOL I'm so cheesy anyways thank you guys and sorry for the late update thanks again and God bless**


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